Personal development invariably dances with the topic of relationships. Soul mates, twin flames, conscious coupling.
How do we get that, does the ‘perfect relationship’ exist?
Actually we just stop looking. Give it up.
What do you believe is keeping you from the relationship success you desire? Why do they ‘always’ end up being (fill in the blank, then ask yourself why you feel like this).
You have the answer, it all starts here.
Sacred Union – what’s that then?
We are both masculine and feminine, yin and yang, light and shadow - whatever our gender.
Our marvellous minds and beautiful bodies have capacity for masculine traits, to protect, take action, to be resilient. We also soften into our feminine to receive, offer tenderness, creativity, lightness.
When our inner world is in harmony, our outer world reflects that. Through the things we believe about ourselves, our reality takes shape.
Then, only then, our relationships also manifest into, or out of our world.
Every relationship could be considered perfect. They all have a lesson and a gift for us – if we choose to perceive it as such.
So, how are you feeling?
Personal development is a consistent check in with You.
Your intuition. It’s your highest self and your closest ally. Trust it, trust it, trust it.
Learn to tune in to it. Make time for yourself every day, ideally first thing in the morning – and last thing at night. Sit with yourself and notice how you feel. Practice a daily ritual – you are your own best friend, trusted life partner and care giver – first and foremost.
Take this out into your day. Keep a close check on how you feel, when in the company of certain people – good? Bad? Indifferent?
Your discernment is your key to self respect and dignity – these values broadcast a frequency which can only attract a match.
But you know that you get what you ask for. You receive that which you perceive.
Personal development is Self Respect.
We get so caught in blaming, shaming, judging. Are we blaming the other? Are we checking our self talk – because you can bet how you talk to yourself is shaping how you are talking to others.
Do you let him be a man, a sovereign king to meet the queen within you?
Do you let her be a woman, a queen to meet the king within you?
Or do you just wish they would go your way (or just go away), criticize, blame and resent them?
Do you see yourself as a wholesome sovereign being? When you do – your royal soul mate will see your light shining. Like a beacon. And like a moth to the flame, your light will attract them in.
Allow the divine union of the Masculine and Feminine within You to take place.
Then allow the magic dance with another to unfold.
Personal Development is Self Acceptance
It is time for us to get a balance. To be courageous enough to fully express, particularly in the areas we've been suppressing. To be courageous enough to receive, particularly if we are always giving.
The human race has been trained to supress emotion, particularly negative. But we are here to experience it all. Gabor Mate is one of many teachers from a long line that tells us, it’s the supressed emotion that creates all dis-ease.
It is all perfectly acceptable. Whatever flavour of the feminine or masculine you are is what you are. It is what it is.
We are here to stand tall. Own your walk, your talk, your crown. You are never ‘too much’.
In fact, you deserve to demand, claim, decree. Why not rock a boat or two, push some buttons and boundaries – if you know it is for the greatest and highest good, get clear on what you want, and go get it.
It is easy said. Often speaking up for our specific needs, really speaking our truth is not easy – but you will absolutely manifest results.
A strong man needs and deserves a strong woman. A strong woman needs and deserves strong man. Have no fear.
Self development is change.
It’s time to drop worrying about what other people think. What if you are perceived as sometimes demanding, difficult, selfish even. You are not out here to please everyone. No longer do you have to be on best behaviour for fear of rocking the boat. There is no-one to ‘keep happy’. Only You.
When you are happy, you radiate that. When your essence shines to the world, the world shines back at you.
‘They’ will love you for who you are. Or they will play in another garden and were not meant to be in this one.
Desire – it’s ok
We’ve been taught to supress desire. Particularly sexual desire. But real desire, is not longing or lacking. Desire can be harnessed, it is a life force energy that can create the unimaginable, and the imaginable.
Tantric masters through the ages have taught that there is a fundamental difference between directly experiencing sensuality and seeking it. Sensuality is in everything. Tantra is not hedonism, or purely the pursuit of sensual pleasures. Tantra is the absorption in what is here now.
Desire is not about the object of your desire. It’s about the desire itself. A driving energy force. It’s Your energy. It’s Your creation.
Desire is not about filling a lack, you’re not lacking in anything. But you do deserve joy, laughter, fun. You do deserve to share these gifts.
Manifest your mate
Ask – Believe – Receive.
Being in the present moment = receiving.
A big blocker to manifestation is sometimes being too masculine! We are strong, independent, capable men and women. But this can lead us to be closed off to accepting support. In fact, we slip into rescuing and people pleasing. We slip into nagging when someone doesn’t do it our way.
Have a brief assess of how that is going for you. Then make a commitment to yourself.
Being precise in asking for (and receiving) what you want depends on your honouring of your self, and your desire.
What is your deepest juiciest desire anyway?
You can own it and claim it. Damn, command it even. Get clear, specific, visualise it and believe it. Know that it is yours, and it is done. Often in the most unexpected way.
This sense of knowing, believing – will quench your longing. You don’t need to pine for the perfect partner when you know you are whole inside.
The perfect partner is already there, waiting to claim You. Waiting to serve You. So when you believe that you are worthy of the best, and you know what you want – they are going to show up.
Self Awareness is more than a trend.
It’s time for a radical self care audit, and only you know how to do this.
The first trick is stop. Just stop, breathe. Surrender to You. Surrender to NOW.
How are you resisting yourself?
Can you reframe it and perhaps even approve of it, accept yourself? Just as you are, right now. Permission to just be yourself. Could you really ask another person to be open to you, accepting of you, love you.. if you don’t do this for yourself already?
Love You as You are – and your consort will match your vibration. You will meet a match for the vibration You are on.
It is time to release old patterns that no longer serve you. Over and over we hear this. Probably because it’s another truth. Let go of the stories and conditioning that have held you back from having the relationship of your dreams. Let the longing go. You are already whole.
Give yourself the message that you are worthy.
Self Acceptance isn’t all romance
Accepting yourself takes courage. It’s really hard at times, and very messy.
Especially when you’re in a mental or emotional space you’re used to believing. We have been conditioned to behave in a certain way.
Now is the time we claim our power back.
We start that by loving ourselves, taking care of ourselves, nurturing and nourishing ourselves. Getting real with our vulnerability, as Brene Brown so eloquently shares.
When we realise that we are perfect just as we are, we are no longer seeking to be ‘healed’ or fixed by someone else. We are not lacking, and reaching out for someone to make it better.
You are strong enough to hold whatever you’re holding, you are courageous enough to sit with yourself and honour your feelings. Without distracting from them.
From a space of honesty with yourself you can be honest with another.
From a space of commitment to yourself you can commit to another.
From a space of love for yourself - you can love another, and receive their love too.